Sandy Kay, Begin Within

Jubilation!

2010-02-13T16:34:00.000-08:00

JUBILATION: I love that word and it sounds just like it's meaning:
uninhibited rejoicing in the celebration of a victory or success

I am feeling jubilant right now, in this moment. Call it unreasonable jubilation. But really, it's never for no reason. I am jubilant today because I am alive; my body can still dance, my mind can still dream and I am still moved to tears by watching an inspirational movie or becoming one with an amazing sunset. I am alive!

Yes, I have money challenges, yes I want things I don't have and yes I wish my body was younger again, but I am alive. I can feel love when I see my granddaughter take her first steps, I can know peace when I look up at the night sky and and experience infinity and I can explode with compassion when I see the faces of the people and children in earthquake stricken Haiti.

I can still feel passion when I hear beautiful music and surrender to the pleasure of the pallet when tasting something delicious. I feel that Divine connection when I hold a friend who needs a shoulder or when a friend holds me when I need a shoulder. I am alive when I gaze into the eyes of another and see Us, the synergistic creation revealing Spirit, emerging only from this special connection and realization of Self. Namaste'.

All In Perfect Time

2010-01-21T23:24:00.000-08:00

I am always amazed at how thoughts and ideas can float in and out of my consciousness for months then all of a sudden, one day action is inevitable, even urgent. I have always wanted to have my own business; actually it's more than just having my own business, it's following my bliss. It's supporting myself doing what I have come to this life to do; making money doing what I am passionate about, what a concept.

So why has it taken me so long to put this plan of passion into action? I think I know the answer, however I am hesitant to admit it. Alright...here goes, fear. That's it, fear. I have attempted to succeed at businesses that were my own but the product was not. That way, if I didn't succeed it was not really something I was passionate about and I didn't fail at something I really cared about. I may have believed in the product, but the problem was I didn't believe in myself. Why didn't I believe in myself...because I was not following my bliss.

Here is the problem with this convoluted thinking. If I tried to succeed at something I was not invested in, I was energizing failure not success. It's like planning to fail, how insane is that.

Well right now, this moment, is the Perfect Time. I am done living life from fear. I am ready to dive into my truth and live passionately; follow my bliss and share the divine gifts I was blessed with. I am ready to succeed in manifesting my vision, being in service and growing financially. I am on a new journey with all my fears and excitement, with all the possibilities, challenges and successes. I don't know if there are words to express that feeling when all of a sudden everything clicks, when the stars align and all gears are working together, Elation!

And so it is, Blessed Be.

A Healthy Dose of Happiness

2010-01-02T23:54:00.000-08:00

Something stirs, do you feel it? Be still and quiet your mind; open your senses to the subtle vibrations around your body. Tune into the rustling threads that weave the fabric of our existence. Hear the heartbeat of time and space quickening in anticipation. Know the excitement swirling in the Cosmos and open your mind and heart to a new day; a new way of life, shifting your awareness and consciousness. Feel your body as it becomes swept into the swirling energy of matter before it becomes tangible. Feast on the giggles of joy emanating from every molecule as they all dance in ecstasy, awaiting the celebration of infinite possibility.

Ok...where did all this come from? Well, every once in a while I slide into this altered state. Actually, I am beginning to believe that it's not so altered, maybe I was a little dramatic, but I know I'm not alone in knowing something is afoot. Personally, I love living in the realm of expectancy, surprise and possibility. It's good for the body; "happy chemicals" flowing through our veins and strengthening our immune system based on our thoughts. We can create our own "anti-depressants". I know, some of you are thinking, "Ahhh...right, we don't really know what's going to happen so why are we making ourselves happy based on what may never happen?"

Why not? In these times of CNN, (Constant Negative News) what's wrong with a little self medicating by thinking good thoughts, true or not. How many times do we allow the fear and worry thoughts to run rampant creating an abundance of stress hormones to infiltrate our immune system. Thoughts are powerful, so think good ones and stay happy, healthy, joyous and free.

"The greatest nation to live in is our imagination". (I don't know the author of this quote)

2010 - Begin Again

2010-01-01T00:20:00.000-08:00

Just as I find a tremendous blessing in "One Day At a Time" I am also grateful for one year at a time. I know that time is really an illusion but for the sake of closure, time is a gift. I love being able to complete my day, my week, my month and tonight, my year by saying, "I can put that (period of time) behind me. What I learned from it, how I have grown from it and know that can move past it. Time is an end and a beginning to help us live life to it's fullest in bite-size pieces.

In this past year I have learned to surrender to the "what is" of life more than any other of my fifty one years. I was able to find bliss in the simplest moments; like inhaling deeply with my nose over an amazing yellow rose or feeling freedom with the wind in my face while I was riding my bike through the park. Oh, and stopping long enough, in the moment, to realize just how much I love the people I've spent time with. The simple moments have been wonderful and very abundant... and I have also had a big moment of bliss. In April I was blessed to have had the opportunity to be in the room with my son Daniel and his girlfriend Megan while she gave birth to their daughter and my beautiful granddaughter Sierra; I will never forget that day.

I was also gifted the experience of irony, dichotomy or those two opposing forces that create balance and wisdom. I have been unemployed this last year but have had the time to enjoy my granddaughter, pursue my writing and spend more time with my eighty two year old mom, who, truly is an angel. My beloved Liz and I have had more time together than in the past I have found a healthy balance with my body. I have also had to deal with financial challenge and I am learning how to better deal with my finances.

Will all this being said I am welcoming 2010 with an open mind, open arms and most of all an open heart. I look forward to completing my Masters Degree in Holistic Life Coaching and growing my business, "Begin Within", giving women a safe and nurturing place to open from within and bring into the world their unique gift they are here to share. Last year was a huge right of passage for me, that proverbial fire of transformation and I came through wiser, more open, more peaceful and more passionate about who I am and sharing that with the world. Thank you 2009 and welcome 2010.

Holiday Irony

2009-12-28T23:07:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve. Norman Rockwell, Thomas Kinkade and "Home for the Holidays" Christmas Carols. Snow falling, crackling fireplaces and the permeating scent of hot cider and sugar cookies. Presents under the tree and happy people opening colorful wrapping and bows while someone plays cheerful music and all sing along. A decorative table of red and green with all the holiday dishes like steaming turkey and sweet smelling honey baked ham....and then I woke up.

After spending all week buying and making the perfect holiday dinner, specially ordered to my family's request and packing all up so I could take the feast safely to my mom's, I got a call that my one sons had the flu and probably would not be eating. "Oh, by the way we will be about 3 hours later than originally planned" was also part of the message. So now with the feast already cooked it must be kept warm for another 3 hours. Well they did arrive and everything was now warm and cooling fast. I quickly set everything out and little did I know what was to come. The dinner was over in the blink of an eye. (good thing I got a picture) No one was really very hungry due to the flu and the lateness of the day, but I came prepared; I brought lots of freezer baggies so they could all enjoy the meal for days to come. Didn't I just put all this food in trays to be eaten and now it's going in baggies? Normally we would have spent the remainder of the evening eating dutch apple and pumpkin pies, drinking coffee and playing scrabble, but due to my son not feeling well and baby Sierra being fussy from being gone all day they had to leave early.

Scene two. This was Christmas Eve, now for Christmas Day. Liz and I had a wonderful, well deserved day planned; we rode our bikes through the park, got a wonderful massage and had one night at the Hilton which I won in a raffle months ago. We arrived at the Hilton around 6:00 pm and checked in, got to our room and settled in. We were there for less than an hour and I started to feel not so great. To make a long night short, I had the flu with all it messy frills. Then a few hours later Liz too, joined me in the all night parade to the bathroom.

What happened to Norman Rockwell and Thomas Kinkade and our Perfect Little Christmas? I thought, isn't this ironic. Here were are in a beautiful Hotel, a night just for us to recoup from our way too busy week and we wake up from the dream to a nightmare.

Epilogue: We are all over the flu, yes the whole family got it. Christmas 2009 has past into the Historic Book of Nightmares and we are more than ready for 2010. Begin Again in 2010. :)

A Gift of Love

2009-12-24T00:02:00.000-08:00

Exhausted from shopping for the Christmas Eve Dinner I promised my kids this year, I hauled everything in the house and began to sort and plan. This year is a little different; I am cooking everything at my place and then taking it to my moms in Seal Beach and heating it all up there. So tonight is a long night of chopping, wrapping and attempting to fit it all in the fridge; then waking up early to get the turkey in the oven and everything else cooked.

As I said, I am exhausted and would like nothing more than to sit down on the couch and watch TV. So what causes me to go the extra mile? Where is the energy coming from and how do I keep going? Well the answer is always the same....Love. When my kids were babies and I went weeks with little sleep, when my mom was rushed to the hospital and I was up all night after working all day and taking care of a dear friend while she was making her transition even though I was going to school and working, all because of Love.

For me, doing things from Love is the greatest gift life can bestow on us and this time of year the opportunities are much more evident. There are places to fill the tummies of the hungry, organizations to bring smiles to children with toys and hugs for our loved ones in their Golden Years at retirement homes.

When gifts are given from Love everyone is the receiver.

Taking Time for Inner Peace

2009-12-22T22:34:00.000-08:00

I have been out and about in the last week and I am sure the crowds and traffic have multiplied. Where are all these people the other 11 months out of the year? Truly December is the month of abundance. There are more cars, more people, more lights and more merchandise. There are more shoppers, more lines and more music. There is just more of everything, except for time. The days seem to be shorter, well they are, at least the time of light is.

In the last few days I feel as though I've been in a movie running on fast forward and when I get into my car I close the doors and sit very still for a few moments. The stillness and silence seems to be palpable due to the chaotic contrast of malls, grocery stores and parking lots. In those moments I recenter myself, and remember again, that I am Spirit having a human experience and I smile, even laugh out loud at the divine insanity it is to be human.

The Gift of the Present

2009-12-18T00:11:00.000-08:00

Some days can be so full of so many different things to be done and today has been one of those days. It is now one o'clock in the morning and I have not stopped since eight this morning. I feel exhausted but well accomplished. I wonder where I got my energy today? Looking back over the day I discovered something...I was very much in the moment and present in every activity I did today and with every person I was with. Once I completed something, it was done and I went on the next; I did not get into overwhelm and worry about how I was going to do everything. The gift of being in the present was energy. What a concept! Since I have to get up early and I have had a long day, this is going to be a short blog. :)

It Must Be Overwhelm

2009-12-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

I really love to write and I can be inspired by just about anything. For me...life is one big metaphor and we are all connected. So...I must be in overwhelm because nothing is coming to me tonight. I think my muse has taken the night off and my head is filled with sugar plums doing the tango. I have simplified my holiday season by giving the one size fits all gift; do you want to know what it is? Love; in the form of kindness, words of support, hugs and joy. No shopping, gift wrapping, lines or parking lots mimicking bumper cars at an amusement park. So why do I feel so overwhelmed?

Maybe I am tapping into the holiday spirit permeating the air, emanating from the thousands of people racing against the clock to complete the race by December 25th. I do love the lights and holiday music being played, and the decorations in the stores and the Christmas wrap. I like the change of pace, seeing things that would look so out of place ten months out of the year. Christmas feels like a completion; a treat for an yearly job well done.

So I am choosing not to be overwhelmed but in awe. Feeling wonderment and fascination for the beauty, the joy, the giving but most of all the love that I feel everywhere I go. Happy Holidays to you who have taken the time to read my message.

Being a "Peace" to the Puzzle

2009-12-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

In the past year there has been so much stress and unrest in so many people, myself included. It has felt like being in a furnace and the heat was turned up making day to day living a bit uncomfortable. Believe it or not I have found many gifts in this last year.

I've discovered just how deep I can go within to find that profound peace we all have when the mind is clear and quiet. No matter what's going on we can choose to stop thinking the thoughts that are stressful and switch first to an empty mind then to thoughts that are peaceful. I know some may argue with this and it does not mean the outer circumstances will change but for the sake of our health we can change our inner state.

The personal empowerment I felt when I mastered this little gift is priceless, mainly because you can't buy it. No seminars, gurus or books can teach you to do this; it's all in the willingness to let go of the thoughts that are causing stress and realizing your power to choose your thoughts. So become a "peace" of this puzzle we call life.

When You Wish Upon A Star

2009-12-14T23:26:00.000-08:00

I have been to Disneyland many, many times and tonight I was there again. Whenever I've been asked to make a wish either for my birthday or maybe I got the longer end of the wishbone, I have a standard one and that is for Peace on Earth. Every time I go to Disneyland my wish is granted.

Now I know Disneyland is not the whole planet however, the whole planet appears to be at Disneyland. Every nationality is represented there, every financial status, every age and every walk of life. I don't think you can go anywhere on the planet and find the diversity of people you see at Disneyland.

My wish of Peace on Earth is granted at Disneyland because everyone has a good time despite race, creed or color; religion, status or age. So many people in one place and there are no wars, no hate, no prejudice. I savor with gratitude to have those moments of Peace on Earth at Disneyland.

Living from the Formless Self

2009-12-13T23:35:00.000-08:00

Recently I became aware of how many distractions we as humans deal with on a daily basis. The world we have so brilliantly created is full of ways to lure us away from our essence; that formless, infinite source within us. We are powered from within or better said, empowered from that source. We are perfect, whole and complete at the core of who we are, but we forget.

There is our jobs, our families, our relationships. There is how we show up as mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, husbands, wives and a million other hats we wear; then there is television, sports, movies, books, Starbucks, emails and drugs; and what about personal responsibilities like paying bills, grocery shopping, cleaning house, personal upkeep, car repairs and the lists go on and on. When do we have time to ever remember the amazing beings we all are. Not what we do but who we are at our core, the formless part of us without all or any of the hats we wear.

I am planting a seed in your consciousness by suggesting that you find at least five minutes a day (more if you can) to stop the mind and BE. Feel that formless essence vibrating in every cell of your being, keep your mind quiet and free and experience your magnificence. When we experience ourselves as infinite and full, we stop looking outside ourselves for anything or anyone to fix us or complete us. At that point we can be an example and emanate the truth of who we are so others can know that truth too. What an amazing new world we can create.

Reflection

2009-06-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

I have come such a long way in this lifetime. Sometimes it seems as if I have lived two or three lives, just on this journey. I have mutated, transformed, grown and even changed completely in some areas. Today I know I have more to give, more time to share and more love to offer than ever before. Not that anything outside myself has changed, but I have. Today my priorities are about what I can offer the world, how I can bring bliss to others and inspire them to open up to the bliss in them. I have fallen in love with me and with the world. I am a Holistic Life Coach. My company is called "Begin Within - Awakening to Your Dream". I am passionate about awakening the awareness in others so the consciousness on planet will rise and love and peace will rein.

The Power of Choice

2009-06-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how plentiful creativity is? Just look in nature, blades of grass, oceans, grains of sand, leaves on trees and types of flowers. If I clear all my blocks, all my hesitations, all my judgements and oh yeah, don't forget the endless mind chatter, the thoughts and ideas are endless. They stream in from that etheric place of infinite supply and divine abundance. The only thing stopping me from that sacred place of plenty is the activity in my head; even that is abundant. I was writing today and was visited by that ever present writers block. It's ever present because I always have a choice from that place of infinite possibility, so I either choose the block or I don't. I was very aware of where my mind was taking me when I energized "the block". So... I decided to relax my mind into no thought, then energize creativity; and like magic it worked. The block disappeared an I wrote two more pages. The power of choice is our greatest gift from The Great One.

What Goes Around Comes Around

2009-06-09T23:31:00.000-07:00

Today I was talking with my youngest son on the phone. He is going through some tough times right now as many of us are. As he went on and on about how bad things are for him, I continued to remind him that it's not ALL that bad. That's what moms do, right? We attempt to fix things so our babies don't hurt; or is it so we don't hurt? In my maternal madness of turning on the light each time he entrenched himself in the dark, I negated and discounted his request to just be heard. The more I tried to make him feel more positive the more opportunity he gave me to just say, "I understand". I tired out and let him know I could not continue to argue. So he said, "I love you mom and we can talk tomorrow". When I got off the phone I felt exhausted, like I just finished a race and lost. Why was I arguing, why did I feel like I needed to make him feel better. I forgot he is a grown man and is perfectly capable of handling his own feelings and solving his own problems. His has let go of being a child, I need to do the same.

Who I Am

2009-06-07T22:29:00.000-07:00

When asking myself who I am and why am I here, silence permeates the following minutes; Like the blank stillness you would hear in the middle of the desert in the middle of the night. I have spent many hours and so many days and even so many years contemplating these seemingly simple questions. After countless ponderings, meditations, Illumination Intensives and various workshops guiding me, step by step into the grand abyss of me, I know who I am. The Truth of who I am is infinite possibility; I am One with everything; I am everything. I have the ability to choose to think, do and feel anything I want, anytime I want. Now I know this may sound a bit trite or off the edge but if I quiet my never ending mind chatter and relax my body, I know this is true with every cell of my being.